As many of you know, Korea ended up passing for me this year. I am still physically in Toronto, the uneasiness has finally as I succumbed to understanding His greater plan for me and I begin to have peace with staying here. As scary uncertainty is and will be :P I know that it is God calling me to step out in faith anyway. Breath of relief. :)
Just this past Tuesday at the vocation workshop held at Grace, my overwhelming wave of shock, disbelief, expectations, anxiety have finally settled its way into a peaceful understanding that He is truly and was truly and will truly always be my All in All. The night was basically finding people in the same profession and share about experiences and insights. The room was split into to four smaller sections in the Arts Field. I was a bit skeptical at first, worrying that it would be another shallow exchange of professional struggles without reaching a conclusion to any of them. How wrong was I? Everyone shared openly to each other the hardest things they need to face when it comes to how to pleasing God at work. A great experience.
Relationships is also a big thing I am learning. There's a lot of challenges when learning an art as grand as this. Love. We cannot go by handling relationships without at least a bit of love. I'm challenged to say a lot of love. :) I'm learning and it's comforting as He reminds me to walk humbly with Him and ready to put others before my own needs. I'm not there yet but I'm glad there is such a faithful and loving God humbling me each step of the way. He is the very definition of love and His is there. Understanding more of how unworthy of His love I am in my battles of sin, I am compelled to treasure every act of love I can show to those He has brought in my life. Thanks Father. More on Love. Stay tuned. :)
Job hunting and being a home with so much time in my hands gets mundane and a little lonely sometimes. I realized I am not quite used to having so much time in my hands. Sigh. It has also been really hard at home recently and dealing with my mom. God luck Phila lol which adds on to the loneliness 10, 20 fold! Father, create in me a new heart that You fill it with the fullness of your Joy (Nehemiah 8) In Jesus's holy and powerful name, Amen.
I know is exactly what He has called me to work through.
Faith tells me I will not fall no matter how trying this season of my life is because He is with me. :) Let's GO :)
And koodos to my smallgroup at NT! I see truly community here! I LOVE IT! Thanks for being community to me and the most tangible channel of support and familial love and for bearing with my crazy having 5000 friends on Facebook. It's still a lie Kwan! haha It I love you guys and want to grown more with you! I'm excited!
A companion verse recently :) LOVE IT!
7 For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.
8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord or of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God.
2 Timothy 1:7 (NASB)
How is your walk? Let's walk :)
Monday, November 14, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
He's leading me :)
(written on Aug 21, 2011)
So as I have been reminded a hand full of times now that I've disappeared and should do some sort of update soon, I've realized how much I miss update you with every typing of word on the keyboard, hehe. Besides that, I have the desire to share and fellowship with what God has been doing in my life recently.
Ready? Here we gooooooo! :)
Since last September, God has begun His adventure in my life of becoming what I feel He has been calling me to be. As I settled into Teacher's College this past school year in London, ON, I follow my heart and all my gut feelings to be the best teacher candidate I could be. One thing I've missed and to this day, being totally humbled is how much I've neglected God in the process. I missed the best thing. I missed seeing how good God has been to me throughout this whole process.
Yet God, despite my lack of gratitude, lack of faith and my pettiness many a times, I recalled moments of great mercies He had so graciously shown me. In the end of it all, I was broken. So broken that God had to show me how broken I was by bringing me to numerous points of failures in my placements/ school practicum. I realized from hindsight that my mind entering teacher`s college was simply to get a good result and start on a great and stable job WOW AND then earn a lot of money. It's still kind of scares me looking into my own heart right now and realizing that it was what I very much so desired during my 9 months of studies at uwo. I became spiritually depressed yet at the same time too prideful of my abilities and talent that I was defensive towards God telling me to let go of this pride. I honestly did not bother to listen to God because realizing my own ambitions and goals seems more important to me at that time. That literally and vividly separated myself from God. I saw myself withdrawal myself from His presence. My school year did not at all turn out the way I expected it to be nor as pleasant of a result that all graduates would want it to be. However, He re-defined success for me and He taught to value Him more than anything in this world because true life is in Him alone.
Right after my final practicum in London, ON, I had a long talk with my practicum Director and Associate Dean and they addressed the struggles I had for the past year of studies at their Teacher`s College. Trust me, those 2 weeks of practicum leading on to that meeting were 2 of the longest weeks of my life! :) At the end of my meeting, by His grace, they were able to write me a letter of reference for my future endeavors.
This summer has definitely be a blessed time reconciling and reconnecting and re-investing in broken relationships and building deeper and more meaningful relationships with others - most my family. I am full of gratitude recalling how far God has restorations relationships in my family and providing me a true bundle of hope in continuing to spread His steadfast love to each person. I have been on and off with camp these past 2 months so when I don`t work, it is very relaxing! I have been learning to really save up! PTL! It`s actually not bad just not as fun as desired hehehe :) I have been doing camp right beneath an animal hospital as well with grade school kids and domestic animals! That is loads of work and energy used but LOADS of fun! We`ve been to horse farms, the Pawsway at Harbourfront (Pets Show Cafe), the Humane Society, watched small surgeries at animal hospitals (yes :) ), a dog wellness rehab centre and a lot more! So blessed :)
God has also blessed me with a prospective ESL teaching job in Korea when I began my application last March. Yet I need to wait until next week to hear back from them where they decide whether they've found a position for me or not. So this coming week is going to be critical, hopefully not sleepless! I'm nervous! haha... as much as I`ve had hopes up to the top for going to a different country, let alone ASIA :D, I know that it is all according to His great purpose and perfect plan. I need to (get used to) and learn to graciously receive God redirecting me from plans I've set out for myself. There has been so much sorrow being humbled by God to pursue Him with a single heart and mind and nothing of this world but when we realize that we are already a part of eternity right now, then it is the way we should desire to live every single day.
So as I have been reminded a hand full of times now that I've disappeared and should do some sort of update soon, I've realized how much I miss update you with every typing of word on the keyboard, hehe. Besides that, I have the desire to share and fellowship with what God has been doing in my life recently.
Ready? Here we gooooooo! :)
Since last September, God has begun His adventure in my life of becoming what I feel He has been calling me to be. As I settled into Teacher's College this past school year in London, ON, I follow my heart and all my gut feelings to be the best teacher candidate I could be. One thing I've missed and to this day, being totally humbled is how much I've neglected God in the process. I missed the best thing. I missed seeing how good God has been to me throughout this whole process.
Yet God, despite my lack of gratitude, lack of faith and my pettiness many a times, I recalled moments of great mercies He had so graciously shown me. In the end of it all, I was broken. So broken that God had to show me how broken I was by bringing me to numerous points of failures in my placements/ school practicum. I realized from hindsight that my mind entering teacher`s college was simply to get a good result and start on a great and stable job WOW AND then earn a lot of money. It's still kind of scares me looking into my own heart right now and realizing that it was what I very much so desired during my 9 months of studies at uwo. I became spiritually depressed yet at the same time too prideful of my abilities and talent that I was defensive towards God telling me to let go of this pride. I honestly did not bother to listen to God because realizing my own ambitions and goals seems more important to me at that time. That literally and vividly separated myself from God. I saw myself withdrawal myself from His presence. My school year did not at all turn out the way I expected it to be nor as pleasant of a result that all graduates would want it to be. However, He re-defined success for me and He taught to value Him more than anything in this world because true life is in Him alone.
Right after my final practicum in London, ON, I had a long talk with my practicum Director and Associate Dean and they addressed the struggles I had for the past year of studies at their Teacher`s College. Trust me, those 2 weeks of practicum leading on to that meeting were 2 of the longest weeks of my life! :) At the end of my meeting, by His grace, they were able to write me a letter of reference for my future endeavors.
This summer has definitely be a blessed time reconciling and reconnecting and re-investing in broken relationships and building deeper and more meaningful relationships with others - most my family. I am full of gratitude recalling how far God has restorations relationships in my family and providing me a true bundle of hope in continuing to spread His steadfast love to each person. I have been on and off with camp these past 2 months so when I don`t work, it is very relaxing! I have been learning to really save up! PTL! It`s actually not bad just not as fun as desired hehehe :) I have been doing camp right beneath an animal hospital as well with grade school kids and domestic animals! That is loads of work and energy used but LOADS of fun! We`ve been to horse farms, the Pawsway at Harbourfront (Pets Show Cafe), the Humane Society, watched small surgeries at animal hospitals (yes :) ), a dog wellness rehab centre and a lot more! So blessed :)
God has also blessed me with a prospective ESL teaching job in Korea when I began my application last March. Yet I need to wait until next week to hear back from them where they decide whether they've found a position for me or not. So this coming week is going to be critical, hopefully not sleepless! I'm nervous! haha... as much as I`ve had hopes up to the top for going to a different country, let alone ASIA :D, I know that it is all according to His great purpose and perfect plan. I need to (get used to) and learn to graciously receive God redirecting me from plans I've set out for myself. There has been so much sorrow being humbled by God to pursue Him with a single heart and mind and nothing of this world but when we realize that we are already a part of eternity right now, then it is the way we should desire to live every single day.
Friday, June 3, 2011
ISAIAH
Recently the book of Isaiah has been lingering on the idea of curses and woes. It nearly reaches the 30th chapter and yet it still calls Jerusalem and Ephraim out on their rebellion, blindness and disobedience. It seems to be a long period of darkness and pain for the reader to read through the history of the Israelites' disobedience against God and the suffering the righteous people had to experience as a result of their rebellion. As believers, we (at least I did) may ask where is God's deliverance in this chaos? Why are those who are holding onto God's righteousness not delivered? Why do their act of trust in God does never seems to be enough for God to do something?? Where is God's deliverance?
Hope and restoration awaits the rebellious Israelites as they about to receive grace and mercy from the living God in the later chapters in the book. This seeming delayed response of God calls for perseverance for God's righteous and choosing His wisdom and laying down one's own. It calls on patiently waiting on God. Strength will rise for each one that will faithfully wait on His deliverance.It has definitely and continues to be a season of dry lands and curses and woes as I crave for godliness in my surroundings. I am not sure what I can do without resolving to running on my own strengths and will. How can I become a true monument of His grace through every action when all I see sometimes are darts being throw to His name. How do I deal with a faint heart that have seen this extremely this tainted world. I am definitely excited to read on.
'' Inasmuch as these people draw near with their mouths And honour Me with their lips, But have removed their hearts far from Me, and their fear toward Me is taught by the commandments of men, Therefore, behold, I will again do a marvelous work Among this people, A marvelous work and a wonder, For the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent men shall be hidden.''
Isaiah 29:13,14
Hope and restoration awaits the rebellious Israelites as they about to receive grace and mercy from the living God in the later chapters in the book. This seeming delayed response of God calls for perseverance for God's righteous and choosing His wisdom and laying down one's own. It calls on patiently waiting on God. Strength will rise for each one that will faithfully wait on His deliverance.It has definitely and continues to be a season of dry lands and curses and woes as I crave for godliness in my surroundings. I am not sure what I can do without resolving to running on my own strengths and will. How can I become a true monument of His grace through every action when all I see sometimes are darts being throw to His name. How do I deal with a faint heart that have seen this extremely this tainted world. I am definitely excited to read on.
'' Inasmuch as these people draw near with their mouths And honour Me with their lips, But have removed their hearts far from Me, and their fear toward Me is taught by the commandments of men, Therefore, behold, I will again do a marvelous work Among this people, A marvelous work and a wonder, For the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent men shall be hidden.''
Isaiah 29:13,14
Monday, April 11, 2011
A challenge becoming an opportunity
Challenges upon challenges, is this what life on earth is just about? All I know that I know is that my life in Teacher`s College at UWO right now has been ringing well with one too many of these. Challenges. Time and time again I find myself battling against the waves of despair that rises higher over me, telling me I am going to fail and this time it will crush me. People find it hard to see through my sugar coating shell. My profs, my mentor teachers, my advisors and even my friends in the program. But the matter of fact is that I am afraid when I know for the very first time that I might not have what it takes to pass my program and find my dream career. The challenge of professional school finally hit me when I realized that it is no longer undergrad.
Things have not been rainbows and unicorn at all with practicum, frankly speaking, but I am currently waiting longingly for my practicum -redo- in May (3 weeks), then another one, (supposed to be my last one assuming I pass the one in May. :)
Having been so challenged for 2 previous practicum already. How do I proceed with confidence?
I have been encouraged by numerous barnabases to shift my eye of thinking - I had to start thinking of every challenge as from God no matter how dark the path may seem and how absent in the circumstance God may appear to be.
I had to start thinking of every challenge as an opportunity to grow because they are difficulties that make us stronger in the end.
9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Cor 12:9
I have been overwhelmed with work and frustrated with various unjust situations my programs has put my friends through and yet again, His grace has carried me to the understanding that injustice is the result of a society today that does not know God. Yet God knows His sheep. Amidst discouragements knowing the contempt earthly masters can have in the real world, I believe in the ultimate master that hold everything together. He is just, loving and trustworthy. That is simply all I need to know.
Thank you for reading ;)
Things have not been rainbows and unicorn at all with practicum, frankly speaking, but I am currently waiting longingly for my practicum -redo- in May (3 weeks), then another one, (supposed to be my last one assuming I pass the one in May. :)
Having been so challenged for 2 previous practicum already. How do I proceed with confidence?
I have been encouraged by numerous barnabases to shift my eye of thinking - I had to start thinking of every challenge as from God no matter how dark the path may seem and how absent in the circumstance God may appear to be.
I had to start thinking of every challenge as an opportunity to grow because they are difficulties that make us stronger in the end.
9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Cor 12:9
I have been overwhelmed with work and frustrated with various unjust situations my programs has put my friends through and yet again, His grace has carried me to the understanding that injustice is the result of a society today that does not know God. Yet God knows His sheep. Amidst discouragements knowing the contempt earthly masters can have in the real world, I believe in the ultimate master that hold everything together. He is just, loving and trustworthy. That is simply all I need to know.
Thank you for reading ;)
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Food for Thought.
"Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical and expecting more than others think is possible."
Howard Schultz
Howard Schultz
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